The Marlin Briscoe Trade

I forgot about a trade I meant to discuss in my brilliant series about the Dolphins' worst trades of all time. Miami sent its first round pick in 1972 to the Buffalo Bills for wide receiver Marlin Briscoe. Here's what Briscoe did in three seasons with the Dolphins (he got hurt in 1974):

years	catches	yards	TD's
1972	16	279	4
1973	30	447	2
1974	11	132	1

Not great numbers even for that time, though Miami hardly threw the ball in those years. Meanwhile, with the pick they got for Buffalo selected future Hall of Fame Guard Joe DeLamielleure. So this one looks bad. Very bad. BUT, I'm sure the Dolphins wouldn't have taken DeLamielleure even if they kept their pick. They already had two guards named Larry Little and Bob Kuechenberg. Not a need position. But even if they needed a guard, you'd never ever want to take that deal back no matter how lopsided. Why? Because the ultimate goal in any trade or draft pick is to improve your team so that they can win a championship. Briscoe was a part of Miami's only two Super Bowl winning teams. An important part. And one of those teams was a perfect team, the only one in NFL history. That's the crowning achievement of the Dolphins' franchise. You'd never give that back. Miami played in a few nailbiters in 1972, especially in the postseason. If Briscoe made just one key play in any of those games--a catch. a block, drawing attention to free someone else up to make a big play, then the trade was worth it. Those Super Bowls, that 17-0 record, those are forever. Everybody on that roster had their part to play and they played it. Removing any one of those players, even if he wasn't a star, might have turned a perfect team into something less than perfect. Briscoe gave everything he had to the 1972-1973 Dolphins. Miami fans have to be glad he was there, even if might have cost them a Hall of Famer.

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade


P.S. Marlin Briscoe was a trailblazer as an African American QB in 1968 and his story's worth checking out

Charles Philyaw

I never heard of Charles Philyaw until a few weeks ago, when I stumbled on this fine series by Pat Toomay, a veteran DE who found himself on the 1977 Oakland Raiders. Toomay relates a bunch of stories about his Raider teammate, Charles Philyaw. Apparently the guy possessed the body of a giant but the brain of a small child. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk. Well, maybe more like the Fridge; the goofy personality, the gargantuan size. But while the Fridge was actually a pretty decent player, Philaw couldn’t morph his superhuman strength into consistent football excellence. His NFL career lasted only 4 years but the dude left his mark. Here’s everything I could find on him. (Most of it’s from Toomay’s series. The last part’s from a book I can’t find the link for).

---At the recent weigh-in, Charlie had stepped up on the scale wearing one of those Rommell greatcoats that were all the rage. Charlie had a weight clause in his contract, so he was upset when the scale showed him to be a few pounds over, since it meant he would be fined. "You big dummy," said center Dave Dalby. "Take off your coat!" Charlie, stepping off the scale, took off his coat, slung it over his arm, stepped back up. "It's still the same!" he bellowed.

---After being drafted, Charlie was flush with bonus cash, so he bought a Lincoln Mark IV. At 6-9, however, Charlie couldn't fit into the car unless the moon roof was open. A day or so after making the purchase, Charlie pulled into the Raiders fieldhouse, his head poking out of the hole, eyes peering over the roof, as he negotiated the lot. It was a cloudy day and as Charlie parked, it started to rain. Yelping, Charlie reached for the instrument panel, clicked a switch. As the moon roof started to close, it caught Charlie by the neck, pinning him between the sliding panel and the edge of the roof. "Arrgghh!" he shrieked. After extricating himself, Charlie was blustering about the car as he walked into the locker room. "It just don't fit me," he complained to Rowe. "Well, why did you buy it?" Dave asked. Charlie gave him a look. "It were a good deal!"

---The stories continued to pour out. How Charlie locked his keys in the car with the headlights on and the motor running. Or the time he forgot his game shoes and asked Cliff Branch if he had an extra pair. "Sure, Charlie," said Cliff, who wore size nines. "What size you wear?" "Seventeens."

---During one game, the button on the Gatorade bucket got stuck and Charlie, panic stricken, stood there filling up cup after cup until somebody rescued him by tipping the vat and stopping the flow. Then there was the time Charlie got hurt and needed an X-ray. Trainer George Anderson told him where to go, but the directions were complicated. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Charlie said. "Say it again." George repeated the directions a second time, then a third, when Charlie still seemed unsure. "Got it?" George asked. "I think so," Charlie said. "But where am I now?"

---Your mentioning Mark van Eeghen calls to mind an anecdote from Madden's first book, in which a not-too-bright defensive end named Charles Philyaw went to Madden and asked to have his first name AND his last name on the back of his jersey. "But we don't do that," Madden replied. "Yes, you do," said Philyaw, pointing. "See? VAN Eeghen." Link

---Phil Villapiano: “There are so many Charles Philyaw stories from his rookie year. He was a big defensive end, 6-7, supposed to be the next Bubba Smith. I loved that guy — just a big, beautiful, nice person. But was he ever on the wrong team with the Raiders. The veterans really took advantage of him. … One time during practice he mentioned that he was getting hungry. Our fullback, Pete Banaszak, told him to go see George Blanda, that ol’ Blanda was in charge of getting all the sandwiches. Imagine — a rookie asking a 25-year veteran to go get him a sandwich. Blanda really snapped at him. ‘Get the !#%& outta here, you dumb SOB!’” Link

---“I heard Charles Philyaw stories. He apparently came to camp one year riding in his car, which was being towed. It had supposedly been towed over a hundred miles. “Charles, what happened?” someone asked. “Oh, I ran out of gas and I wanted to get here on time,” Philyaw replied. And teammates asked, “What’s with the tow truck?” “Well, I didn’t have any money for gas.” They looked at him and asked, “Well, how’d you get the tow truck?” “Oh, I had a credit card,” he replied.

NFL Passing Titles

Here's a list of the NFL's Passing Rating Leaders going back to 1940. I've thought for awhile that the NFL formula determining passer rating didn't work so well, rewarding high-percentage low-risk passes and thus favoring throwers on conservative offenses (boring!) rather than those who prefer to air it out. However, this list would seem to prove me wrong. There's a really high correlation between the Hall of Fame and the list of QB's who've led the league in passer rating three times or more. Those 7 QB's are:

Quarterbacks	Passing titles
Steve Young	6
Bart Starr	5
Roger Staubach	4
Ken Anderson	4
Sammy Baugh	3
Sid Luckman	3
Peyton Manning	3

All Hall of Famers except Manning, who's a lock for future induction, and Ken Anderson, a guy who in my opinion is worthy of enshrinement (maybe I'll write about that in the future). If we expand the list to include the guys who've won 2 passing titles we add:

Tommy Thompson
Otto Graham
Johnny Unitas
Kurt Warner

Graham and Unitas---legends. Thompson was a great QB back in the 1940's who won two championships with the Eagles and he might well be an overlooked HOF candidate himself (more on that soon). And former bagboy Warner was great for three years before flaming out spectacularly for still-inexplicable reasons. So out of the 11 men who've led the league in passer rating multiple times, seven are in the Hall, one will be, and two more are decent candidates in my opinion. Only Warner is totally out place on the list. It sure looks like winning two or more passing titles is a sign of passing greatness.

What active players have a shot at joining this elite group in 2007? I'd say none. Besides Manning, the only active passers who've already led the league once in passer rating are Warner, Steve McNair, and Chad Pennington. Warner's finished, McNair's hit the wall, and Pennington's passing crown was 5 years ago now and he's been in decline ever since thanks to injuries and age.

Don Shula and Tom Landry: The 13 Amazing Coincidences

Remember those old lists showing the supposed Amazing Coincidences between our two most famous assassinated presidents Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy? You know, stuff like: "Both presidents had vice-presidents named Johnson" and "Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln while Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy" (not true by the way, Honest Abe's secretaries were named Nicolay and Hay). As a kid I was unhealthily fascinated by this bit of silliness. Now a couple of presidents can't be the only people with crazy coincidences between them right? I suspect you'd find Amazing Coincidences between any two people who ever lived. Though the Lincoln/Kennedy connection has lost its luster for me, I continue to remain unhealthily fascinated by professional football so how about a look at "amazing" coincidences between famous football personages and who better to start with than my favorite winningest coach of all time Don Shula and his near exact contemporary, the late Tom Landry? The Lincoln/Kennedy article of my youth listed 13 coincidences so here's 13 for Tom and Don:

1) Both were defensive backs in the NFL.

2) Both played professional football for 7 years (counting Landry's 1 season in the AAFC).

3) Landry helped pioneer the 4-3 defense (as NYG defensive coordinator). Shula helped pioneer the 3-4 defense.

4) Both won 13 division titles.

5) Both coached in 36 postseason games.

6) Shula coached in 490 regular season games while Landry clocked 418 games. They each managed 6 ties.

7) Each had an assistant coach who later won an NCAA Championship. (Shula: Howard Schnellenberger for UM in 1983; Landry: Gene Stallings for 'Bama in 1992).

8) Both coached in 2 NFL championship games prior to the 1970 NFL/AFL merger and in 5 Super Bowls after the merger.

9) Each won 2 Super Bowls

10) They coached against each other in Super Bowl VI.

11) Both were fired by colorful/asshole prima donna owners (Carroll Rosenbloom; Jerry Jones).

12) After their firings, both coaches' former teams won Super Bowls within a few seasons (Baltimore in 1970; Dallas in 1992).

13) When they left the game for good, both Landry and Shula were replaced by Jimmy Johnson.

All-Time Miami Dolphins vs. All-Time Cleveland Browns

My good friend Jim is a huge Cleveland Browns fan so in honor of him, you will now read of a thrilling contest pitting the all-time Cleveland Browns against the all-time Miami Dolphins in one epic imaginary struggle. We've previously met our Dolphin squad. Now here are your all-time Cleveland Browns as chosen by the experts at Football Digest:

OFFENSE

QB Otto Graham
RB Jim Brown
RB Marion Motley
TE Ozzie Newsome
WR Dante Lavelli
WR Paul Warfield
OT Mike McCormack
OT Lou Groza
OG Dick Schafrath
OG Gene Hickerson
C Frank Gatski

DEFENSE

DE Len Ford
DE Paul Wiggin
DT Bill Willis
DT Jerry Sherk
LB Jim Houston
LB Chip Banks
LB Clay Matthews
CB Frank Minnifield
CB Hanford Dixon
S Thom Darden
S Warren Lahr

SPECIAL TEAMS

K Lou Groza
P Don Cockroft

I'm no expert on the Brownies but it looks like a good team to me. I'll make a single change. With apologies to "The Mule", if you take out Dick Schafrath and replace him with Joe Delamelliure, the Browns can field a Hall of Famer at every offensive position. Sure Delamelliure played most of his career with Buffalo and the Mule probably isn't a-scared of Gene Upshaw like Delamelliure, but Hall of Fame is Hall of Fame. Ok, our teams are set.

With Marion Motley and an all-Hall O-line blocking for Jimmy Brown, I'm going to go out on a limb right here and say these Browns have the greatest freaking ground game of all time. That is pure power. Can Miami stop them? It could be tough. Defensive Tackle is probably the Dolphins' weakest position on defense (relatively speaking of course. Everyone here was a really good player at minimum) and Miami's linebackers, while quick and hard-hitting, are probably a bit on the smallish side. So Cleveland might be able to wear Miami down by grinding it out up the middle. So to win the Dolphins have to score early and often to force Cleveland to abandon the run and play catchup. Do the Dolphins have the personnel to do that? What do you think? With the greatest pure passer of all time (you can insert an "arguably" to that sentence if you want Marino-haters) reunited with Mark Clayton and Keith Jackson, AND, getting a chance to hook up with possibly the greatest deep threat ever, Paul Warfield, Miami's passing game should have a field day. Most of these matchups are hypothetical but Marino and Clayton really did face off against the Browns' corners, Minifield and Dixon, and had them for lunch several times. Now with Warfield in tow and an all-star line to protect him, Marino should have a field day. Cleveland can't drop LB's back to help out either. Miami's got the power of Csonka, the speed of Morris, and incredible strength up the middle of their O-line. Dan finally has the running game here that he missed out on in life.

Alright, can the Browns keep up and match Miami's aerial assualt? You've got Otto Graham, one of only 4 QB's on the NFL's 75th Anniversary Team, throwing to Lavelli and Warfield (playing for both teams), with coach Paul Brown, probably the greatest offensive mind in football history calling the plays. Automatic Otto, Gluefingers, Warfield, and Ozzie Newsome. No question that's a dangerous group. But the Dolphins have one strong secondary to face them. Two corners who cover a lot of ground and two smart safeties at their best in big games. And I wonder just how well Brown's and Graham's offense will work here. Reading about the 40's-50's Browns, you see that the secret of their success was not just superior talent, but running a more sophisticated and advanced offense than their opponents. The Browns were the first team to use playbooks and game films and the first offense to use timed passing routes. Paul Brown, Graham, and Lavelli obviously wouldn't have that kind of advantage against players of later eras. And especially not against Don Shula who played for Cleveland as a DB in the '50's. He knows all of Browns tricks and schemes. Brown's offense won't have any of the built-in advantages he had back in his heyday. Brown might be able to figure something out as the game goes on but it'll be too late.

Miami should be able to score enough early to hold off a late surge by the Browns in a shootout. Final score:

MIAMI 34 CLEVELAND 28

The Miami Dolphins' All-Time Team

Back in 2002, Football Digest picked all-time teams for each NFL franchise. Check it out if you get a chance. Some of the teams need some updating but it's a good read. Here's their all-time Miami Dolphins team:

OFFENSE

QB Dan Marino
RB Larry Csonka
RB Mercury Morris
TE Jim Mandich
WR Paul Warfield
WR Mark Clayton
OT Richmond Webb
OT Norm Evans
OG Larry Little
OG Bob Kuechenberg
C Dwight Stephenson

DEFENSE

DE Jason Taylor
DE Bill Stanfill
OT Manny Fernandez
OT Vern Den Herder
LB Zach Thomas
LB Nick Buoniconti
LB John Offerdahl
CB Tim Foley
CB Sam Madison
FS Dick Anderson
SS Louis Oliver

SPECIAL TEAMS

K Olindo Mare
P Reggie Roby

Football Digest did a pretty good job. No problems with the offense except for Tight End. Mandich was a good player but Keith Jackson caught more balls in his 3 years with the Dolphins than Mandich had for his whole career. Jackson made 5 Pro Bowls and was tremendous in 4 playoff games for the Dolphins.

The defense needs some work. Fernandez and Den Herder were fine players for an undefeated squad, but Bob Baumhower was an All-Pro (and 4-time All-Pro second team) and Doug Betters was the 1983 NFL Defensive Player of the year. Those Killer B's deserve to be on the team. As for the secondary, Louis Oliver over Jake Scott? C'mon, Scott was a 3-time All Pro and a Super Bowl MVP. And Patrick Surtain has a lot more picks than Tim Foley as well as a huge speed advantage (I'm pretty sure). Don McNeal should be ahead of Foley for consideration but Surtain's the man here.

The special team choices are correct. So the true all-time Miami Dolphins team is:

OFFENSE

QB Dan Marino
RB Larry Csonka
RB Mercury Morris
TE Keith Jackson
WR Paul Warfield
WR Mark Clayton
OT Richmond Webb
OT Norm Evans
OG Larry Little
OG Bob Kuechenberg
C Dwight Stephenson

DEFENSE

DE Jason Taylor
DE Bill Stanfill
OT Bob Baumhower
OT Doug Betters
LB Zach Thomas
LB Nick Buoniconti
LB John Offerdahl
CB Patrick Surtain
CB Sam Madison
FS Dick Anderson
SS Jake Scott

SPECIAL TEAMS

K Olindo Mare
P Reggie Roby

Next: A Battle for the Ages

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History, Part VI

Ok, the Herald says these are the three worst trades in Miami Dolphins' history:

1) The A.J. Feeley trade (2004)
2) The Jake Scott trade (1975)
3) The draft day trade down with Green Bay that may have cost Miami a shot at Randy Moss (1998)

That's wrong. These are the three worst trades in Miami Dolphins' history:

1) The A.J. Feeley trade (2004)
2) The Anthony Carter trade (1985)
3) The Ricky Williams trade (2002)

So which of these is the worst of them all? I suppose it all depends on your criteria. For sheer stupidity you have to go with the Feeley deal. I mean, what possible reason was there to give up a 2nd-rounder for a guy who was a mid-round draft pick and who was mediocre at best in his brief career up to that point? It made no sense. Spielman and Wannstedt panicked and gave up too much. Had Miami given up a #1 pick, then this would be an easy call for their worst pick ever. But though this is the dumbest trade ever, it's not the costliest. Of course, Miami's collapse in 2004 still wound up making that 2005 2nd-rounder a pretty valuable pick--the number 35 pick overall.

The Carter trade is, I believe, the only time in Dolphins history where they gave up a great player with his best years ahead of him and got nothing in return. Shula got taken. I never gave this much thought until I started working on these posts but now I'm pissed I never had the chance to see Marino throw to Duper, Clayton AND Carter! Man that would have been awesome. Would Carter have gotten Miami to a Super Bowl though? Seems unlikely. RB and defense were still the big needs in the late 80's.

Now Ricky WIlliams. To get Ricky, Miami gave up more than they’ve ever given up to get any player ever. Was he worth it? We all know the answer to that. Hell no! Ricky gave them one incredible season but Miami missed the playoffs that year. He regressed the next year as did the Dolphins. Then he quit to sail off to hippie lotusland. The move to get Ricky made all the sense in the world at the time, but now we see what a huge cockup it turned out to be. Miami gambled and lost. The lost first round draft picks and the 2004 team collapse franchise were a direct cost of this deal, and unless you drafted Ricky for your fantasy football team in 2002, no benefits were gained. If you weigh the worst trade by the damage ultimately done, and I do, then this has to be the Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History.


The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History, Part V

DOLPHINS TRADE RIGHTS TO RECEIVER ANTHONY CARTER TO MINNESOTA FOR LINEBACKER ROBIN SENDLEIN AND A SECOND-ROUND PICK -- 1986.

The Herald puts this one in the “Not as Bad as it Looked” Category. What?!? Not as bad as it looks?! It’s worse! Anthony Carter was one of the best receivers in the NFL from 1987-1990. The guy Miami got for Carter, Robert Sendlien? He wasn’t one of the best anything, just a worthless linebacker. He’d already been one for 4 years with the Vikes. Now the Herald notes that Miami already had Duper and Clayton when they dealt away Carter so losing him was no big deal. Huh? Are you telling me Dan Marino, the most prolific passer in NFL history, wouldn’t have had any use for Anthony Carter? Here’s what Carter did with the Vikings from 1987-1990:

years	catches	yards	TD
1987	38	922	7
1988	72	1225	6
1989	65	1066	4
1990	70	1008	8

Remember, Carter did that with Wade Wilson throwing him most of those passes. (1987 was a strike season. Only 12 games for the non-scabs). Now here’s what Marino did in those same years with all Dolphin receivers not named Duper or Clayton:

years	catches	yards	TD
1987	54	640	5
1988	89	1250	4
1989	122	1661	7
1990	108	1234	7

That’s a lot of balls and they mostly went to guys like Jim Jensen, James Pruitt, and Fred Banks. Hell, Miami picked up players off the street like Andre Brown and threw them into the mix. Anthony Carter would have been one big improvement. Clearly there was plenty to go around with Dan Marino. And Miami definitely needed another weapon back then. The running game stunk (what else was new?). The defense likewise. Miami only won by outscoring people. Carter would have helped them do that. Plus, as a third receiver, the Dolphins might have been able to use him as a return man. At least it would have been awesome entertainment. Duper, Clayton and Carter!

I don’t see how the Jake Scott trade is worse than this. When he got dealt Scott was past his prime while Carter was just heading into his. And the Theisman trade can’t be worse either. If it “couldn’t have hurt” to have Theisman around for 6 years just holding a clipboard, then what about Carter? At least he would have played regardless of whether or not he was as good as the Mark Brothers. Now the Herald notes one mitigating factor in the Carter deal: Miami also got a 2nd round pick, and they used that as part of the trade with Tampa Bay for Hugh Green. True enough, but Green ripped up his knee shortly after the trade and he was never the great player Miami thought they were getting. And Miami also gave up a 1st rounder for Green; that 2nd rounder for Carter wouldn’t have been any kind of dealbreaker. Miami would have found a way to get that trade done.

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade

The answer to "whatever happened to..." for some

June 4 saw the quiet end of several careers, getting little or none of the attention given to "the final cut" in late August/early September. Without actually being "waived" or "cut", these are folks simply not tendered offers for 2007. Some of these fellows will be picked up by other teams, but many won't. A lot of these players gave us some good times, and some aggravation, over the years. Here's a partial roll call: QBs: Vinny Testaverde, Todd Bouman, Shane Matthews, Koy Detmer (imagine!).
RBs: Stephen Davis, Chris Brown, Fred McCrary, Nick Luchey, Arlen Harris, James Mungro, Dee Brown, Patrick Pass, Fred McAfee, James Hodgins, Reno Mahe, Jerald Sowell, Tony Fisher, Chris Hetherington.
WRs: Troy Brown, Corey Bradford, Ricky Proehl, Terrence Wilkins.
TEs: Doug Jolley, Brian Kozlowski, Dave Moore.
K: Morten Andersen.

Most likely to picked up first is Chris Brown. Dave Moore is going to be a broadcaster for the Bucs, taking over for Hardy Nickerson. (I don't know why.) Fred McAfee, Ricky Proehl, and Vinny were late-season signings (McAfee was a re-signing) for playoff-bound teams not expected to be brought back. McAfee and Ricky have reportedly announced their retirements. Vinny of course will not accept the end until he falls one day on the shuffleboard court and breaks a hip. Ditto Morten. Can't someone just accept that when he's 90, he'll still hit 80% from within the 40, and use him from Week One? Someone out there needs Troy Brown...maybe...hmm...MIAMI? from whence came Troy's replacement Wes Welker?

Jolley may be the very last Raider Gruden will foist on the Bucs. Or not. It feels that he has more left--cliche alert--"in the tank". We'll see. Stephen Davis did well as Steven Jackson's backup with the Rams last year. Not well enough to stick, apparently. I like Patrick Pass. He could help someone if last year's injury isn't too serious. Always liked Kozlowski, can't remember if he's related to ex-Dolphin Mike K. A final word about Fred McCrary...this guy was cut and out of the NFL for all of '96 and '98 before settling into solid journeymanship. In 123 games, this guy got to carry 25 times for 31 yards. A little better with the catches...114 in all. Ah, the life of a fullback in the "modern era." Will he ever have a chance to raise that per-carry average to 2?

Good luck, gentlemen, and thanks for the memories.

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History, Part IV

DOLPHINS TRADE NO. 1 PICK (25TH) AND FOURTH-ROUND PICK (125TH) IN 2002 AND NO. 1 PICK (18TH) IN 2003 TO NEW ORLEANS FOR RICKY WILLIAMS AND FOURTH-ROUND PICK (114) IN 2002.

The Herald gives this one a Dishonorable Mention but that’s being way too generous to this disaster. It seemed like a good idea at the time but in retrospect this deal looks worse with each passing bong hit. Two first-round picks is a hell of a lot to give up for any player but the Dolphins need for big-time running back was just as huge in 2002 as it had been for the previous (wait for it) 27 years! Miami had wasted Dan Marino’s entire career by failing to provide him with a running game so they sure as hell weren’t going to repeat that mistake with, uh, Jay Fiedler. So goodbye draft picks, hello Ricky. The relationship started out great. Ricky had the best season any Dolphin back’s ever had. Miami missed the playoffs that year in part due to the Dolphins coaching brain trust’s failure to give the ball to Williams at the end of the 2002 regular season finale versus New England. Miami couldn’t run out the clock, letting the Patriots come back and knock Miami out of the playoffs. From this Wannstedt learned one lesson: give Ricky even more carries! In 2003, Ricky toted the rock 393 times. The workload got to him and his rushing average dropped form 4.8 ypc to 3.5. And there’d be no bounce back in 2004. You see, Ricky decided to retire because, as we later found out, he was a midnight toker of the highest order. He left the game to avoid the drug test that would undoubtedly find traces of his beloved weed in his bloodstream. Ricky’s sudden retirement left the Dolphins with no viable running game for 2004 and the comical last-second efforts to gin one up (i.e the Lamar Gordon trade) expectedly failed. In short order, Ricky’s retreat led to the team’s worst record since before the merger, Wannstedt resigned in mid-season, and the team crashed and burned. The collapse necessitated an extreme makeover that resulted in the aborted Nick Saban era. Ricky later decided that as much as he loved the ganja he also loved the millions in bonus money Miami had given him that he didn’t want to pay back. So he returned for a good portion of the 2005 season and played pretty well alternating with Ronnie Brown. (Thanks to Ricky, Miami had to burn their overall #3 pick in 2005 on Brown). But as we know, Ricky couldn’t fight off his reefer madness forever and his comeback was short-lived. Several suspensions later we seem to have come to the end of Ricky Williams’ NFL career.

What if Miami had Miami just kept their draft picks? I'm glad I asked. With the 25th overall pick in 2002 they could have landed DeShaun Foster (34) or Clinton Portis (51). Hell, they could have traded down and still snagged one of them. Better yet, had they used their 2003 17th overall pick on a back, they could have grabbed Willis McGahee (23) or Larry Johnson (27)!

So the final tally: three number one picks (if you count the one used to take Ricky’s replacement Ronnie Brown), the franchise’s collapse in 2004, the resulting Nick Saban fiasco, and turning a once-proud franchise into a punch-line.

THAT is one bad trade.

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History, Part III

Here’s two of the Herald’s Dishonorable Mention Trades:

DOLPHINS TRADE NO. 1 PICK (26TH OVERALL) AND TWO THIRD-ROUND PICKS TO BUFFALO FOR NO. 1 PICK (14TH) IN DRAFT TRADE-UP -- 1984.

Jackie Shipp. A bust of the highest order. In fact, his selection marked the start of a string of post-Marino 1st-round disasters for the Fins. How bad was Shipp? He was so bad that…Ah, who cares? He sucked. The question here is, Was trading up to get the 14th pick a bad deal? To do it the Fins gave up two 3rd rounder to the Bills. The Bills picked Sean McNanie and Speedy Neal, two losers. Would Miami have done any better if they had kept those picks? Who knows? I’ll say this, if you use their entire all-bust 1984 draft as your signpost, the Magic Eight Ball says, “All signs point to No!” I don’t think losing two 3rd rounders is that big a sacrifice anyway. The Herald points out that had Miami just stayed at 26, they could have picked the player the Bills ended up with: RB Greg Bell. Bell was a good player as it turned out. He gave the Bills two good years, got hurt and missed most of the next two, then had two great years for the Rams before flaming out with the Raiders. Not the greatest career but compared to the backs Miami was running out there in the Eighties he was like Jim Brown, Walter Payton, and Barry Sanders rolled into one. Yeah, getting Bell instead of Shipp would have been the way to go.

BUT, Miami NEVER would have picked Bell even if they hadn’t made that trade. Never I tell you! Why? ‘Cause Shula wanted linebackers real real bad that year. Not only did he take Shipp in Round One, he drafted LB Jay Brophy in Round Two. If Miami stayed put and Shipp was gone by the 26th spot, MIA would have just taken another linebacker there. Probably Mike Guendling (who went 33rd), or Scott Radecic (34th), or Thomas Benson (36th), or Ed Williams (43rd), or Ron Rivera (44th). I’m sure you’ve heard of all those guys. (Rivera had a good career). Why did the Dolphins need linebackers so bad you ask? Well, the year before their fine LB Larry Gordon died from a heart attack. A tremendous blow obviously compounded by the fact that another fine Dolphins LB, Rusty Chambers, died in a car accident two years earlier. So Miami was incredibly weak at the linebacker position by the time of the 1984 draft and that’s where Shula’s focus rightfully was (and watch Super Bowl XIX again sometime to see the marvelous results of that focus).

Wouldn’t they at least have considered Bell if Shipp was gone? No, they would not have. How can I know this? Because Miami was already set at running back. Miami drafted David Overstreet in the 1st round back in 1981. Joe Robbie, Dolphins owner and notorious cheapskate, not necessarily in that order, wouldn’t pay Overstreet what he wanted back then so Dave booked for the greener pastures of the Canadian Football League. He was rookie of the year there in 1981, but got hurt in 1982. He returned home in 1983 and played very well for the Fins in limited action: 392 yards on only 85 carries. Shula promised him the starter’s job in 1984. So as of May 1, 1984, Draft Day, Miami’s offense was all set. The first full season for both the great Dan Marino and David Overstreet. As she usually does however, Fate had other plans for the Dolphins. On June 25, 1984, 55 days after the draft, David Overstreet died in a car wreck. He fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into some gas tanks that exploded on impact. RIP David. You too Larry and Rusty.

So, Shipp--a bad pick, but I’m pretty sure that even if they don’t make that trade Miami winds up with a different lousy linebacker. Losing two third-rounders aren’t enough to make this a contender for worst trade ever.


DOLPHINS TRADE QUARTERBACK JOE THEISMANN TO WASHINGTON FOR A FIRST-ROUND PICK -- 1976.

In no way shape or form was this a bad trade. Israel Gutierrez says the Dolphins "still had Bob Griese for another four years, but it couldn't have hurt to have a Theismann, whom the team drafted in 1971 before he went to the CFL." Actually, the Dolphins still had Griese for another six years. Miami got Washington's 1976 first-rounder but they dealt Theisman in 1974. Sure it probably wouldn't have hurt to have Joe T around (unless you had to listen to him. Dude is really annoying), but who needed him? He wasn't as good as Griese. And Miami got Marino in 1983, just three years after Griese's career ended. So, assuming Miami still gets Marino in an alternate "keeping Theisman" world, we only would have used Theisman from 1980-1982, the David Woodley years. They could have used Theisman then but of all the bad trades discussed so far, this is the only one where Miami came out with something positive. They used the Skins number one pick to take Larry Gordon. Gordon was a hell of a player for seven years. He won the team's Outstanding Linebacker award in the late 70s and was named to the Dolphins' Silver Anniversary team. He was still a good player up to the time he dropped dead of heart disease while jogging at age 28.

There's only one way you could say trading away the Theis was a bad move. Miami won a division title in 1981 and made the Super Bowl in 1982. They had an excellent team. Their biggest weak spot was quarterback. Woodley just wasn't cut out for the job and his worthless play in Super Bowl XVII definitely cost Miami the game. If Miami had Theisman, who was one of the best QB's in the league from 1982-1984, one would have to say their chance at winning it all in 1982 would have been excellent. Espeically when considering that the team that beat them in 1982, the Redskins, wouldn't have had Theisman. So maybe cutting Theisman loose in 1974 cost Miami a championship eight years later. Of course, if Miami wins in 1982 maybe they don't draft Marino. (And maybe Washington would have drafted him). Clearly this is all Speculation City. In the end we didn't need Theisman. We got Gordon. He played great. The trade paid off. Not the worst trade ever.

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History, Part II

Ok, here's the Miami Herald's other two choices for worst Dolphins trade ever:

DOLPHINS TRADE THEIR FIRST-ROUND DRAFT PICK (19TH OVERALL) TO GREEN BAY FOR PICKS NOS. 29 AND 60, THEN TRADE THE 60TH PICK TO DETROIT FOR PICKS NOS. 79, 143 AND 172 -- APRIL 18, 1998.

Gutierrez rips this deal because trading down to the 29th cost Miami the chance to take Randy Moss (who went 22nd). However, Jimmy Johnson said he wouldn't have drafted Moss. He wanted a running back and he thought John Avery was the man. So he traded down, got an extra pick, and later traded the extra pick for more picks. Classic JJ. It didn't work out because Avery sucked. And Johnson should have known he was going to suck. C'mon Jimmy. Nobody was talking about this guy as a top back. All the extra picks sucked too. LB Brad Jackson at No. 79, G Scott Shaw at No. 143 and QB John Dutton at No. 172. Busts all. But the trade could have worked if Jimmy just picked better in the spots he had. Ahman Green lasted until the 60th pick. Hines Ward until 92nd. Take those guys instead of Avery and Jackson and it's an all-time great draft. Even Michael Pittman (95th pick) might have done well for Miami. Look what journeyman Lamar Smith did for us in 2000. And Karim Abdul-Jabbar had almost a 1000 yards in 1998. And how about Matt Hasselbeck going 187th?! Jimmy could have had him with one of those second-day draft picks Johnson traded for, turned the thing into a huge success, and avoided the future Fiedler/Feeley/Frerotte fiasco to come.

Of course Johnson might have been lying, not wanting to admit he traded down before the draft 'cause he assumed Moss would be gone by the 19th pick anyway. It's not like Johnson avoided bad character types (I'm looking at you Cecil Collins). Of course it wasn't just Moss Miami missed out on though. Other good players went between 19 and 29 including Alan Faneca. But the draft wasn't a total bust. Miami landed Patrick Surtain with the 44th pick, Kenny Mixon at 49, and Lorenzo Bromell at 102. Surtain was a Pro Bowler and great CB while Mixon and Bromell were solid players who spent four years with the Dolphins. Plus Bromell broke Peyton's Manning's jaw in 2001. That's gotta be worth something right?

I can go back and forth on this one. Jimmy did screw this draft up no question, but I'd chalk it up to bad picks not a bad trade.



DOLPHINS TRADE JAKE SCOTT AND A 1977 FOURTH-ROUND DRAFT PICK TO WASHINGTON FOR BRYANT SALTER -- AUG. 24, 1976.

Jake Scott. MVP of Super Bowl VII. Five-time Pro Bowler. Three-time All-Pro. The best free safety the Dolphins have ever had. And they traded him away for garbage. Bryan Salter. Played 12 games for Miami and was gone. So worst trade ever? Not really. Scott was on the other side of 30 when he got dealt. He wasn't returning punts anymore either, so presumably he'd lost a step. He only played three more years and he didn't make any Pro Bowls with the Redskins. Plus, he supposedly pissed off Shula somehow and had to go. "Team chemistry" don't ya know. Remember, it was 30 years before T.O. and being a jackass didn't help your career back then. Miami probably didn't lose much by trading Scott at that point in his career. The only problem with the deal is they got nothing for Scott. He was still a name player and they should have gotten somebody decent. If they had they'd probably have come out ahead. Getting a worthless player makes the trade a bad one but nothing disastrous.

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade

The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins History Part I

Back when I wrote my Worst Trade Ever post, I intended to follow it up with a piece on the Miami Dolphins' Worst Trade Ever. But the Miami Herald just had to beat me to the punch and write such an article themselves. Actually, Herald writer Israel Gutierrez looked at the worst trades in all of South Florida sports history but I could care less (or is that couldn't care less) about those non-NFL transactions. Gutierrez picked three Dolphin trades as being among the all-time five worst deals in S. Fla. sports history. They are:

1) DOLPHINS TRADE THEIR FIRST-ROUND DRAFT PICK (19TH OVERALL) TO GREEN BAY FOR PICKS NOS. 29 AND 60, THEN TRADE THE 60TH PICK TO DETROIT FOR PICKS NOS. 79, 143 AND 172 -- APRIL 18, 1998.

2) DOLPHINS TRADE JAKE SCOTT AND A 1977 FOURTH-ROUND DRAFT PICK TO WASHINGTON FOR BRYANT SALTER -- AUG. 24, 1976.

3) DOLPHINS TRADE A SECOND-ROUND PICK TO PHILADELPHIA FOR QUARTERBACK A.J. FEELEY -- MARCH 3, 2004.

Gutierrez picked another three Dolphin deals for the Dishonorable Mention category:

1) DOLPHINS TRADE NO. 1 PICK (25TH) AND FOURTH-ROUND PICK (125TH) IN 2002 AND NO. 1 PICK (18TH) IN 2003 TO NEW ORLEANS FOR RICKY WILLIAMS AND FOURTH-ROUND PICK (114) IN 2002.

2) DOLPHINS TRADE QUARTERBACK JOE THEISMANN TO WASHINGTON FOR A FIRST-ROUND PICK -- 1976.

3) DOLPHINS TRADE NO. 1 PICK (26TH OVERALL) AND TWO THIRD-ROUND PICKS TO BUFFALO FOR NO. 1 PICK (14TH) IN DRAFT TRADE-UP -- 1984.

Finally, Gutierez puts one Dolphin trade in the "Not As Bad As It Looked" category:

DOLPHINS TRADE RIGHTS TO RECEIVER ANTHONY CARTER TO MINNESOTA FOR LINEBACKER ROBIN SENDLEIN AND A SECOND-ROUND PICK -- 1986.

All in all, the Herald did a really good job of selecting all the contenders for worst Miami trade ever. I don't think Gutierrez missed anything. Surprisingly, after looking over that list you'd have to say that when it comes to trading Dolphins managment has avoided true disaster over the years. It's the draft where their sucking has really shined through.

The Feeley trade is definitely a worthy contender for the worst. And it's a special trade in Dolphins history because it's so perfectly encapsulates in one idiotic move just what a train wreck the Wannstedt/Spielman regime was. How stupid was this trade? In 2002, Feeley played in 6 games for Philly after McNabb went down with an injury (back when that was still a surprise). Here's what Feely did:

comp	att	pct	yards	YPA	TD	Int	Rate
86	154	55.8	1011	6.56	6	5	75.4

Yeah he went 4-1 but that's a good QB? Spielman and Wannstedt looked at those numbers (and he didn't play a down in 2003) and thought this was the guy to take over the reins? This dude was worth a second-rounder!??! Below average YPA, TD/INT ratio, and QB rating. Oh, I forgot he ran 12 times for 6 yards. He really added that "extra" dimension.

Other than the Feeley trade, I don't exactly agree with Mr. Gutierrez' rankings for the other deals and I'll take a closer look at his list over the next few days.


The Worst Trade in Miami Dolphins' History:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Addendum: The Marlin Briscoe Trade

Ding Dong, Keyshawn is (alive and well) but outta here!

It will be one of my themes that I love older players who still "put it out there" and "give 110 percent". Nothing leaves my cheese out in the wind (no idea what that means) than seeing a club dump a vet who's playing fairly well to replace him with a rookie who goes on to suck.

That's why Keyshawn's apparent retirement rings such a bell with me. He's a veteran guy I won't miss for a instant. He is the type of guy who, if he still had the ability to back it up, would remain as obnoxious and morale-destroying as, for a random example, T.O. Or maybe T.O. Then there's T.O. I think my keyboard is stuck...I meant to also say T...Randy...Moss...O. Whew. That was like passing a kidney stone!

My dislike (I can't say "hatred" despite the vitriol almost required for blogs) of Keyshawn began, as it did for many, with that friggin' book he wrote. "Just Give Me the Damn Ball." There may have been some actual sportsmanlike parts in it, but what mattered to me was the trashing of QB Neil O'Donnell and, especially, the kind of guy everybody loves: Wayne Chrebet (Keysh's main competitor for said ball).

Aside from ignoring any values kids should be learning about teamwork, humility, having class, etc., Keyshawn's published tirade sucked on many other levels. Bear with me as I circle around to the point. Wayne came to the team in 1995 as a free agent, climbed the depth chart, and properly won over fans with a 66-catch season. Keyshawn was the Jets' number one draft pick the next year, and the duo gave O'Donnell a fine tandem to work with: as a rookie, Johnson caught 63 passes for 844 yards and 8 TDs. But obviously, he was jealous of The Green Lantern's superior numbers for the year (84-909, though only 3 TDs). So, Jets fans (and football fans in general; this is a rare subject in which my interests actually overlapped with the Jets') recoiled in disgust as this snotty L.A. kid, with his multi-million contract and six-inch height advantage over his counterpart, dissed the (local) Jersey boy, who made a fraction of Motormouth's salary and who worked his ass off to get where he was. By the way, O'Donnell, hardly the worst QB a receiver could hope for, was also from New Jersey.

So get the locals to hate you and call extra attention to every pass you drop (and there were quite a few) while you're at it. Brilliant.

As we all know, Keysh made up for all that by alienating coaches and teammates most everywhere he went afterwards. This cost him dearly in 2003, when Bucs coach Jon Gruden couldn't take the shenanigans anymore and suspended him for the last six games of the year. Finishing with 45-600-3 numbers when 80 catches and a thousand yards were in his sights had to hurt like hell, and I loved the poetic justice of it. Then there were some Parcells fireworks in Dallas for a couple of years before he was dropped (in favor of T.O.). He moved on to Carolina last year, where he turned in a solid 70-catch season but had no way to get his usual bitching in with the league's top WR, Steve Smith, playing across from him--and kicking ass and taking names.

As for Mr. Chrebet, he stayed with the Jets for his entire career, until the concussions resulting from his tough play caused him to retire--as a hero and a player we all admire--after the 2005 season. I can't conclude that he is the "better" player in terms of achievement and physical skill, but in terms of making your team better and putting in effort, there's no comparison. I miss having this guy in the league and hope he's having a good life post-NFL (Google search pending). As for Mr. Johnson...read on...

No doubt Johnson can still contribute, and I wouldn't rule out this retirement as a means to avoid training camp and join a playoff-bound team in need later in the year. (I actually don't blame guys for doing this. I'm willing to rethink my position on this however.) But clearly it would be laughable if he tried the prima donna crap ever again. Unfortunately this is the type of person that needs that to function. So, this particular reign of terror is over, and we have one less jerk to deal with. On the field, at least, as it's inevitable that someone is going to give him a pre-game "analyst" slot...ugh.

Footnote: sadly Keyshawn eventually surpassed Chrebet in the numbers. The final (?) tally:

Wayne: 580-7365-12.7-41. Keyshawn: 814-10571-13.0-64. Both played 11 seasons: Wayne, with 3 or 4 shortened by injury; Keyshawn, with 1 shortened by being a jackass.

The Immaculate Reception

1) 1972 Divisional Playoff: Pittsburgh 13—Oakland 7

The Immaculate Reception. In their previous 40 years of existence, the Steelers had appeared in exactly one playoff game. They lost. But it looked like things had finally turned around in their second playoff game. Pittsburgh had totally shut down the Oakland offense and held a late 6-0 lead at home in a brutal defensive struggle. The Steelers' luck then (seemingly) ran out. Kenny Stabler, the not so fleet-of-foot Raiders QB, scored a go-ahead TD on a nice 30-yard scramble and run down the left sideline with just 76 seconds remaining. The Steeltown crowd were going home losers once again. The Steeler offense had one last chance to pull the game out but they just couldn’t move the ball. As Pittsburgh's season slipped away, owner Art Rooney had seen enough. He took the elevator downstairs from his box so he could be waiting there in the locker to room to console his team and congratulate them on their fine year. His quarterback, Terry Bradshaw, had just thrown 3 straight incompletions so it’s not like Rooney needed to see one more right? 22 seconds remained and the Steelers faced a 4th-and-10 at their own 40. They needed a miracle. Bradshaw took the snap, ducked away from a heavy rush, and scrambled to his right. Ignoring his wide-open running back Franco Harris, Bradshaw instead inexplicably heaved a desperate pass over the middle to RB John “Frenchy” Fuqua who was being covered like a blanket by Raiders safety Jack “They Call Me Assassin” Tatum. Assassin Boy went for the big hit instead of the football (of course) and he clocked Fuqua just as the ball arrived. The ball caromed away but just before it could hit the turf Harris, alertly trailing the play, somehow snatched it off his shoetops and ran 40 yards to paydirt with 5 seconds left on the clock. The crowd exploded. His teammates mobbed Franco in the end zone celebrating the incredible unbelievable winning touchdown. But was it a touchdown? No one knew; the officials made no immediate call. Under the rules of the time, consecutive touches by offensive players weren’t allowed so the ball had to have hit Tatum for the catch to be a legal play. So the question was did the ball hit Tatum or Fuqua? No TV replay rule then existed, but the head official apparently called the TV booth to find out exactly what happened. All the existing replays are unclear but after talking it over for awhile the officials finally signaled touchdown, perhaps influenced by the screaming crowd of crazed jubilant Steelers fans who might have torn the zebras to pieces had the refs taken that touchdown off the board. Oakland coach John Madden remains bitter to this day about the call. Franco’s catch (“I don’t even know where he came from!”) stands as arguably the greatest, most fantastic single play in NFL history and Raider fans have had the privilege of seeing it replayed endlessly for the last 35 years (and counting). Does anybody but a Raider fan ever get tired of seeing that play? I sure as hell know I don’t! Enjoy Raider Nation:

Immaculate Reception

When I originally created my list of the 10 toughest Raider losses, I had Super Bowl XXXVII as number one. After thinking about it some more though, no way! Yeah, a Super Bowl loss is as disappointing as it gets but that game was over at halftime. The Raiders had plenty of time to adjust to the fact they were going home losers. But the Tuck Rule game and especially the Immaculate Reception provided them with that devastating “punch in the gut” moment: a sure win suddenly turned into a loss by a crazy play coupled with a controversial call. Stabler was this close to being the hero but who remembers his TD now? It’s been completely wiped out by Franco’s TD. And Raider fans never know when any football-related show will suddenly throw that highlight up there one more time. By the way, Franco Harris hasn’t got nearly enough credit for that catch (or his career for that matter). He saw the opportunity, he made an amazing catch and a great run to the end zone, fighting off a tackler at the ten and staying in bounds.

Postscript: A few years ago a physicist examined all the evidence and concluded the ball definitely hit Tatum before Franco caught it. Conservation of momentum people! So stop your whining already Raiders!


Previous Raiders Toughest Losses Entries:

Tenth Toughest Loss
Ninth Toughest Loss
Eighth Toughest Loss
Seventh Toughest Loss
Sixth Toughest Loss
Fifth Toughest Loss
Fourth Toughest Loss
Third Toughest Loss
Second Toughest Loss